The Moldy Peaches - Anyone else but you.

Dear readers.

This is real, now I'm just staring in front of my laptop and read some blogs and then write again and again. it means my mood on writing is well now. I hope this can be a new begining for me to get up. Honestly, I don't have any remarkable stories to share with you during this day. I'm just stay in my room and reading a few blogs and listening The moldy peaches over and over again. But, it doesn't means I'm stuck on those situation. Now I have and get so many inspirations and ideas to do instead of waiting someone texting me on my cell phone. Well, now I'm addicted to The moldy peaches song's titled anyone else but you. I'm sure you guys know that song.

Lyrics | The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else but You lyrics

Why am I so addicted to that song? well, the lyrics remind me about someone. truthfully I hate to admit it, because I'm too ashame for that. As I told you before, now I have a close friend and he's a boy. I don't know if what we doing can be called an open relationship or not, but we really do it now. This is the same boy that I ever told you on my previous notes, yes still him. And I hope he will never know that I've write so many things about him on this blog. Let's call him Joe ( I love Joe Jonas, he always judge him self as "my joe jonas" and her nick name is Jo too ).

The song is so us, this the first time in my life I feel so stupid on this things. Sometimes we just talk about the silly things over sms, and when we meet on the college we're almost never speak too much. At first I just want him to be my part time lover and a full time a friend, but now why I feel so different?. I know it must be the effects of the habit, now I can't pretend that I always miss his jokes.

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right. This part describing us, we didn't stay for a consistency. But what we do is FUN, souds crazy funny huh?. Gosh, I think I'm getting sink into this unpredictable thing. Well, is that mean I'm in love? no, please not now I'm just not ready to feel it now. I don't want to ruin my plans because I'm in love. No restu!

But it's been a long time since we starting our first conversations. And now I feel that he's mine, but the truth is the opposite. That's fucking hurt.

I'm a bit insane for this thing, I'm not ready to break up. Eventhough, he told me about what his feel (and the good news are he feel the same way with me) but I'm still doubt about us. We didn't really know each other, but the sounds in my head says " I don't care about everything ".

He's not the boy that I want, not my type exactly. But I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but him.  I will always try to keep it real, and I hope he do the same. Because I'm in love with how his feel. Still don't know how long this things could be lasting out.

*sighs
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.  
But you.
( sing it quietly )

 taken from : Juno the movie

I'm (still) no one, but I gotta be someone.

Dear readers.

What do you think about my blog's new look? is it messy? well, I did the editing in the middle of the night. I hope you like it baby !

By the way, day by day my passion in writing is getting better. I was read a few blogs of indonesian blogger who has a creativity and inspiring. I have to thank God because I really love reading, at least when I get bored I do the worth thing.

Yesterday I was just thinking about how to become "someone" on my younghood, well for these last two days I was spend my time looking for fresh inspiration. and guess what, I get it now. Firstly, I found cassey's blog and it attracted me to read over and over again. Not only cass but also sarah jane, this girl is pretty unique. she write anything on her own way. Cass and sarah inspired me to do the same things, just write what I want and what I think. I wish I could inspiring people too. amin !
And I'm not forget to visit alanda kariza's blog but unfortunately she didn't write a new one. Last night I got tweet by kezia gabriella, a young talented blogger. she asked  about her idea to quit blogging, and I said No. we had a little conversation over twitter and she was thank me because I made her feel better.
Well, a friendly tweet by cass and gabby making me eager to do something so I could be someone. I got my positive spirit because of it, after all those annoying day and my bad mood now I get a wake up call. I still don't know what exactly that I should do for a begining, all I know is now I have to rearrange all my plans eventhough I still have no direction to reach it. So, I do it with writing on my blog now and I do hope I could be an officially writer like cassey, amin. I know it seems too far away, at least I would try from now. I don't want to lose my chance. I have to keep moving on.

I remember that Paulo coelho told us in his book The alchemist, if we really wishing for something and have a strong desire, a whole world would help us to make it come true. And I believe it.

I want to be an author, that's the one of my big dream. I was write a few short story and long story but I have never get them finished. I just discover some of them on my laptop, and I never notice that I have made so many unfinished story. that's bad baby, cause they has a good title but I don't know how to finished it. The stories was too old, so I'm forget about the idea of stories. But, I will start with my new stories. And now, beside I will write all about my life here, I also have a plan to write some poetry and fictions. Just wait for that dear, because I believe someday I will become "someone" eventhough now I'm just no one.

Anyway don't forget to read Letters, stories, and dreams by cassandra niki. it has been sold on a bookstore and you will never regret to have it.

Thanks Cassey, Thanks :)

Dear readers.

Today my mood is getting better than before (wide smile). eventhough I still can't get up from this bad temptation and still can't find the energy to get a power but I'm better now.
Anyway I just get a new haircut, I hope this new haircut can affecting my mood better day by day. seriously I'm tired for being bad on mood !

Hahahaha... I'm so sorry if I become so narcissistic, but this is the first time I take a pose in front of the camera during this fucking two months. at least, now my passion for being narcissistic is getting back :p.
Anyway, today is the best day for me on this boredom march.
why? because I just discover someone who can make my spirit up (Finally).
She's Helena Cassandra niki sucahyo, I'm in love with her blog and now I'm so addicted of it.
I woke up this morning and had breakfast with a fried rice and Ice tea, I did my habit (tweeting), and writing on this blog. And till I saw tweet by casseybunn so I opened her page and visited her blog http://blog.casseybunn.com I read her articles and I got a new inspiration to get up from this shit situation, I love everything she wrote and she told everything that made me say "hey, I need to wake up !".
and I love her tagline on her blog, she say remember: if it hurts, it's probabbly worth it.

I didn't read the whole articles on her blog, it will take times but I will read it soon. the one of her articles that I love, titled ironic, this is my favorite. and besides she writes her inspiring ideas, she also writes about photography. I bet she has a good taste in art, you can see her cool arts on http://casseybunn.deviantart.com

she was make an awesome works. Now, cassey is an officially writer. Her book titled Letters, Stories, and Dreams has been sold on the bookstore, and I can't wait to read it.

Cassey is beautiful, not only beautiful she's cool, creative, smart, and open minded too.

Well, just like me she's a girl in a small body posture, she's 20 now and I'm 19. But she's already make a "something" and I wish I could be like her. anyway, I tweeted her this morning and she's tweeted me back.

she told me:

casseybunn @restu_etuu Well good morning then! If I have inspired you, now it's your turn to inspire someone else ;)

Thaks cassey I wish I could :)

a story about home

I'm very exhausted now.
If I have any three wishes, I just want to use one of them. Please, please, please bring me to my own home.
Home, is the right place for me to end up, a final destination to go, a place where I belong.
I don't want to be a melancholic or dramatic. this is what I feel.
I know what I want, but how long I can wait for that. everyday was unremarkable, my day was begin with a simple things and end up with so ordinary. please teach me how to learn to take a wisdom in every second.
I'm still holding on here, wait to find my way home.
Seconds, hours, many days, I'm still losing my way.
Give me a reason to fight, and what if my chance has over please assure me that I was wrong.
Home, I need to get back to this place and take some rests.
But, I go nowhere now. I have no place to hide my self from all those shit things.
Anyway, I've lost my passion in everything I used to love. I don't have any spirit like before.
I can't help my own self as I always do.
Patronsaint, I need you..
Your heart is the most beautiful home to me.
Let me lean on you for a moment, Please...
I almost gave up my dreams, so take me by the hand and show me that I can.
In your heart, I can take my every step struggle.
In your heart, I can run so fast.
In your heart, No boundaries.
In your heart, there's my home.

Hello March :)

I say hello to MARCH.
Welcome MARCH I wish this month would be better for us. Amin

February just ended, I was never realized how come that time could be so fast?. And I didn't blogging too much on last february.
I just starting my March moment with some weird things.
That's funny, but I've been stop dreaming for a while. I was live my life with holding super dreams and now my dream, my life seems like has been paused.
What's going on with this? why now I'm just stare for something strange and I don't event know is that thing trully exist?.

Nevermind.

I want to be a calm girl but frontalistic

It's ain't about something wrong in my life, eventhough I can't pretend this is strange and ridiculous for me.

tell me what should I do to bring the real me back?

goshh... I didn't write for like years.

Hey there, I'm really sorry ( again ) because I had no notes on this blog since one month ago. well actually I was at home lately and when I'm home I have so many things to do instead of blogging :(
and you know what, I have so many things to say right now..

1. January :
on january I was almost spend my whole time at home, doing some house work and chit chat with my mom in every hour. I feel this is rarely happen in me ( I stay in a different city with my family ) so it's amazing to hear my mom's voice everyday and we're arguing in some points sometimes. on last January was so unremarkable for me, eventhough I was spend my time mostly at home without any vacation but there's something that always success makes me smile. and I was wondering why, how come all those little things like read the text messages bring me to the happiness all day long? I mean I was with a wide smile when I woke up in the morning and still did the same way when I have to close my eyes at night. haha.. I just found someone. I and him are really good friend now, we're happy for being close friend :)) kinda flirting.. LOL !!
January was so colorful.. it was pink means happy, white means brighten me, yellow means surprised me, blue means I was sad too. I was pink when all those little things happen to me and makes me laugh and smile a whole day. I was white because I thought about everything... all the planing that I planed for my self in a future, and I was just found the slowly direction to achieve it. beside that I was look back on a past, actually when I was 16, the first time I shared my thought by using blog and goshh... I was so young, juvenile on writing and looked unpretty on a photo. but I love being me, I love spending my time for writing and reading. I was yellow when I know that I've become the one of nomination for shorty awards on twitter. so surprised when google showed me : Restu Hapsari ( restu_etuu ) was nominated for shorty awards. and I was so confused then, I mean I don't have much follower on my twitter I don't even have a list on my twitter. and again I said " how come ?? " but honestly it was making me flattered. I was blue when I found my study results on a college in third semester is worse than before, I was crying in front of the computer as shit. but then I realized this is all my fault, maybe I didn't fight all out. and miley's song made my spirit up, I love the climb that's my anthem :). and I'm so sad when I missed my lovely sister TAMEY, we had no talk for a long time and I miss her so bad.
well my holiday has ended on a last january, I was back to Bandung at 1 february.

2. February:
I'm being collegian again on this february, and my starting point on this semester has been getting started that means I have to work out!!
I wanna write some articles for some medias this month, I wish it could be published soon :))
and I'm blogging again :))

a joke , a joke , a joke , it's just like a joke.

Look at this picture below ! it's miley and liam on the last song movie ( the one of movie that I waited to watch on 2010 )

Well, it's not about miley and liam neither their newest movie. But, hey look at that picture, they did some conversation there. I don't even know what they talked about exactly, but I just can see the sweet thing happen to them.

Okay, I will keep my promise to you guys. Now, I'm gonna use Indonesian language in my every notes. eventhough I will still put some english on it and I hope you don't mind :) .
Worldie, jujur kali ini saya sedang merasa nyaman dengan apa yang telah saya miliki saat ini ( saya telah menulis tentang ini pada tulisan saya sebelumnya ), banyak teman, punya kesibukan dan waktu luang yang cukup, kuliah saya teratur, dan ya saya sangat senang dengan kehidupan yang normal ini. Meskipun sebenarnya banyak yang bertanya : " kenapa sih lo nggak mau pacaran ? " atau
" lo kenapa tu cari pacar banyak milihnya ? " . Bukan apa - apa, saya sama sekali tidak bermaksud untuk mengkotak - kotakan orang buat jadi pacar saya, that's so unfair karena pada dasarnya semua manusia itu sama. Yang membedakan cuma cara pandang dan kemauan, lagipula kita semua ciptaan tuhan and yes we are different in a good way.
So, what happen to me? saya sama seperti remaja perempuan seusia saya. saya suka jalan - jalan, nonton film, makan es krim, tertarik sama dunia fashion, it's just normal I think. Saya memang agak introvert dan protektif terhadap diri sendiri, ini bukan karena saya terlalu mencintai diri saya sendiri tetapi ini merupakan tanggung jawab saya karena saya tinggal berjauhan dengan orang tua. We need to protect our selves from the negative thing. Dan saya juga suka bergaul, have fun bersama sahabat - sahabat saya di sela jadwal kuliah sangat menyenangkan :) .

Let's stop to talk about my self, that's not really interesting it's kinda bored actually.

Miley and liam looked so in love each other, and I think I just feel the same way right now. it's sounds crazy funny to me, I was never feel this way since two years ago, and hey why I feel it now ? that's so terrible to me. Saya menahan tawa ketika saya menyadari hal ini, dan saya yakin pasti teman - teman saya yang membaca posting tulisan saya ini akan bertanya :
" jatuh cinta sama siapa lo cil ? " .
Awalnya saya tidak ingin mengakuinya, I was pretending day by day about this. but, I can't fool my heart anymore, that's too pathetic. saya sadar bahwa perasaan jarang berbohong, saya tidak bisa berbohong pada diri sendiri. saya tahu bahwa saya selalu mencek facebook nya setiap hari dan berkali - kali, hanya untuk mengetahui bagaimana keadaanya. norak ya ? tetapi, saya benar - benar tidak bisa mengotrolnya.

I feel that butterfly in my stomach, like everybody always says it really happen when you're in love.
But, I'm too ashame to admit it. ketika saya bertemu dia saya hanya ingin menjauh darinya dan melihatnya dari kejauhan, meskipun terkadang hanya punggungnya yang dapat saya lihat. it's like a big joke, ngapain punggung orang diliatin ! but it's happen to me, that joke happen to me.
Dia bukan orang yang luar biasa, jujur dia orang yang sangat biasa. Jauh dari kriteria pacar impian saya. but, it comes too natural, dia sering membuat saya tertawa belakangan ini. Dan kali ini, saya tidak bisa memprotect diri saya seperti biasanya. and yeah maybe I'm in love poison now.

Enough.
that's all my monologue.
Thankyou for reading :)

Is not a big deal, isn't it?

Hey worldie how are you guys? I wish all of you are ok.
Lately, my friend told me that why I'm always use english when I write a blog to publish ? he was guess that I'm not proud of my country language Indonesia. Honestly, is not on the purpose. Just because I use english as a notes on my blog it's doesn't mean I'm not proud for being Indonesian youth and I really proud with a kind of Indonesian language. The fact is I feel so free with using english on my every articles. But it's doesn't matter for the next article I will use Indonesian language, but I still put english on it.
Talking about all of the Questions from anybody to me, they asked me anything and sometimes I was feel so confused and weird with all those questions. Because, the questions was makes me feel bored and you know what, they asking me the same questions for many times. I will not to be rude, but yeah I just got bored and tired of it. they asked me : " restu, why you don't have boyfriend ? " and I answered : " haha, that's not a big deal " but, they wants get the explanation from me, they wants a reason why. and I really dont want to talk about that please.
why ? Because I love my life now. eventhough some people said that I'm too hypocrite, because without boyfriend I will feeling so lonely, and minus. Maybe, those statement is true if I believe that's true. but, hey I don't think so. I have so many friends who care for me, I have anybody to share anything, and yes I really love them so much. I'm not pretending, honestly I feeling so  lonely sometimes. it's so normal right? and it wont stay too long in me. because I'm always have a lot of things to do and when I have some free time I will spend it with some fun activity like facebooking, blogging, or having fun with all my best friends here ( we can go anywhere ), or maybe I can get some sleep and having my nap.
Worldie, we can joy our time eventhough there's no boyfriend or girlfriend in our lives. trust me is not a big deal, but it doesn't mean I wont have boyfriend ( haha lol :p ), maybe later. I just try to find out that Mr. Right man.
So, don't worry be happy :)
you have to joy your life worldie .