Ask your self, what would you really want to do before you die? I asked my heart twice, even thrice and there was only one answer, I want to do something that could make my life more cool. I've been thinking that as long as I live my life, I tend to 'dark' and messy. My heart breaks while I'm contemplating my life, thinking about future and past, I feel like I've wasted countless times. So sick because time flies, everything changes, dream evolves but I'm still nothing. My dream is like castle in the sky and they are still waiting to come true, fight for them but the fact is I still can't win it over.
I woke up in one morning, thinking about something I dreamt about. I can't recall someone who told me this yet I remember what he told clearly, it was in my dream. I was on a huge field, I saw blood was everywhere and I heard children's voices. I didn't recognise the place, yet I felt I have ever been there before. Dreams always confusing, sometimes it's like a puzzle or maze, I can only see it but I can't guess what the meaning is. Back to my dream, Huge field surrounded by children's voices tingled me. I looked down at my feet, I flew. I saw the white ground with no plants, and my feet didn't touch the ground. I was wondering, "am I in heaven?" because I felt so safe there. Until I saw the ground flooded with blood, I made sure that I was not in heaven.
There was a man walked slowly in front of me, he was wounded. He stopped, stood before me.
"My name is Hector" this wounded man spoke tremble, almost speechless. ( I'm not so sure about the name that he has told me but when I woke up from dream, this name resounded on my mind plus Eric Bana's face hahaha..).
I was clueless, only glanced at this Hector man.
" Your fate is here on the battlefield, don't be afraid... the bullets wouldn't hurt you".
That was all, I can't remember the rest but after that super weird conversation, I knew that it was a dream and unconciously knew that I visited a war in my dream. I don't understand, was that a sign? too blurry to predict. But suddenly after the dream, I really want to be a war volunteer, maybe for Palestine. I wish one day I could make it real, at least I don't wanna be 'cruel' forever in my life. I spent too much bad things in life, and by being a war volunteer could be something good to remember, something great to tell, and something that reminds me that I'm still human.
It was popped in my head, randomly. One thing I gotta do before I die, be a war volunteer.
I may not a hero, at least I want to save some souls, not only the cheerleader.
Thankyou private Hector, for lighten me up.
Restu Hapsari.
