'Eclipse'

You, there's too much things that I can't forget about you. Don't ask
me about your smile and your voice, two things that always tucked me
in bed at night. If some questions are better left unanswered, maybe
the memories about you are better left untouched and I will let them
crystallized inside my lonely mind. You are the only song that keeps
resound in my head over and over again. Maybe Selena Gomez was right,
to love someone so deep is like playing love song that you will always
repeat.
Most of times I feel like I'm the most cowardice person that I've ever
knew, I don't even have any nerve to ignore your silhouette while I
close my eyes. The moment when I see my reflection in the mirror, that
is the moment when I see my self is covered by a clearly deceptive
expression. Yes, deceptive. Don't you know that I'm too powerless to
pretend that I don't care about you? I'm tired to fake my smilng face
as the art of deception keeps going. Yeah, I bet I don't need a hunch
to predict that you know about it because you obviously don't have any
clue of it.
Shit, I wish I can forget how to calling your name on my slumber like
I used to. So, I'm trying so hard to not spell your name as long as I
could. But then again, another name of you is eventually come out in
my mind. Now what, I love to call you with another name. I love to
call you eclipse. Perhaps that was the silliest joke that you've ever
heard (if you heard).
I feel you like I feel the eclipse, I'm (still) in love with you
without any explanations like I'm in love with an eclipse without
knowing my reasons. It's only a countless feeling that emanates
naturally. It's hard to restrain my self to not to stare up at the sun
during the solar eclipse, too tempting. And hell yeah, it's equally
hard to not remember anything about you while I shouldn't do, too
tempting. If by stare up straightly to the sun during the solar
eclipse could makes my eyes got damaged, then by remembering you in
every single circumstances could makes my sanity got damaged.
But too bad, your shadow is just too seductive to abandoned. My eclipse.
- Restu Hapsari, @smileyrestu -